Destructive messages

One of my clients told me a great story about one of her children today which she is happy to share, because she really understands how what someone says to you as a child can have a profound effect on your life. She herself is an exceptionally talented woman who has spent her life trying to prove she is good enough, because no matter how brilliantly she did, the focus was on what was lacking.

Her eight year old daughter fronted up to her grandfather (my client's father) bursting with pride to show him her 98% result at school. He was obviously filled with pride too but still asked her what my client knew was the inevitable question "Where is the other 2%?" Her daughter fixed her grandfather in the eye and asked him if he had ever got 98%. He was forced to admit that he never got anywhere near that - and also that he was very proud of her. She said "Well, I'm proud of myself too".

How wonderful it would be if we could hold on to our self-esteem this way instead of finding ourselves lacking and not good enough.


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